I need some input on a subject I have been thinking about a lot lately. Any advice would be great and I don't mind who it comes from so PLEASE Comment!
Do you think that if you stop doing something that is such apart of you. That you can slowly die inside? Like if you are a painter and you stop using a paint, or a Dancer who stops dancing, computer wiz without and computer, carpenter without wood.......but in my case its Music....A singer who doesn't sing and a Fiddler who cant get her self to play a note.
I love to sing and I do in my car and with Allie also around the house and all that stuff but, not like I use to. Singing was a huge part of my life. I was always sharing it with someone and now only with Allie which is not a bad thing but I know my voice is not what it use to be. When I was in primary teaching the kids all the songs it wasn't so bad but now I no longer have that calling so I don't share my music.
Violin is a whole crazy topic with me. I know I have issues and I have some people in my life that are willing to do anything for me to play those strings again. I know if my mother heard them again she would cry because she would know how hard it is for me to even try. ....I think I am going to put if all out there.
I feel like a failure when it comes to Violin. I know Mom and Dad both of you are shocked I would say that, but I do. I didn't make it into concerto night and I know I could have. I let you both down all those years of lessons and I couldn't even try to make it. I took it for granted how easy Violin came to me. I know that at that time in my life I was not who I am now and was very very stupid. I am sorry for that! So now my problem is every time I pick that violin up I feel like a failure! My issue I know and I am working really hard to get past that.
So the question again Do you think that if you stop doing something that is such apart of you. that you can slowly die inside?
Friday, May 30, 2008
Dying Inside?
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4 comments:
Does slowly dying inside mean that your insides turn black and you poop ash? Would that mean that you are a vampire if you poop ash? Maybe you should start playing you violin and then you wouldn't have to whine about dying inside. Or you could ritualistically smash it on the stage like an 80's hair band rock star and then burn it with your zippo lighter.
The only way to get it back is to force yourself to do it. Your soul needs to sing again. Go for it. Stop thinking and start doing
act! now one ever got anywhere standing still.
Hey Amy,
The only way you can be a good mom is if you take care of yourself first. That means you have to do those things that make you you - if not for yourself then for Allie and Jason. Join a music group or something - I know there are several - my brother in law just went to Italy with his singing group - If you dont take care of yourself - how can you take care of someone else? Start teaching lessons - that way you are making money to contribute to family and doing something you LOVE! I know there are a lot of people looking for music teachers - you have a talent - don't bury it, but share it with the world - otherwise how will you get more talents - (like being a mom and a wife) Sure sometimes things come into play that are more important- but you still need to work on things that you are soooo great at!
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